Warning...girly, emotional post!!!

Okay, truth be told, I have never been a big "cry"er....

I mean, I have been known to get teary eyed over my kids...or if I am deeply moved by someone's graciousness...or a couple tears here or there for a hurting friend...BUT not one of those girls who cries and doesn't know why. And if I did have crying to do, at all costs it is behind closed doors, where there are no witnesses (and even then I can only think of a couple of times that has happened)....

And in fact, it is a sign of weakness to me if I do lose control and can not stop the trail of tears...

Don't get me wrong, this is not a standard I hold other people to. In fact, I admire those who can share their raw emotions with those around them.

But, what does it mean when I find myself crying, in front of others, without any ability to stop. No matter how hard I tried to plaster on my smile and happy face, the tears kept coming.

I am not even sure why. Is the pain, hurt, stress, and loss of the last two weeks coming out?

What do I do with this? I won't even talk about it because I don't want to cry, and as I sit here and type the tears are welling up...

I HATE not being able to control these invisible windows into my heart....

Is this God's answer to the prayer for brokenness someone is praying for me, because I haven't had the courage to pray it myself?

UGH. As I sit here desiring nothing more than to erase all of this and share my happy, funny stories from school, I can't.

Thanks for praying for me...