This weekend has been one full of quiet mulling of a vast array of disjointed thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Part of the reason is because when I start thinking, and focusing, on one particular subject with great intensity (this weekend it was work) my mind just goes into overdrive. I guess it feels the need to think about EVERYTHING...
And as I sat here and pondered how to put what in on my heart into words, I had a moment of revelation.
So often we focus on situations, circumstances and events in our lives. These things define us, mold us, shape us, encourage us, challenge us, cause us stress, worry, concern, joy, sorrow, and we allow them to. So often when we reflect on the past, we reflect in terms of events or circumstances (graduating from high school, getting married, having a baby, working at this job, living in that house, the year Mom retired, etc.)
But these things, these situations and circumstances, they are not what impact our life the most. People do. Whether it is a positive or negative impression, it is our interactions (or lack of interactions) with people, mere relationship, that touches us the most. Jesus knew this.
So, instead of reflecting on the past year in terms of events and situations, I am including a list of people who impacted my life this year. They come in no particular order...
- Greg; taught me that ministry can be fun. Challenged me to take risks, every week! Opened my eyes to trusting God with the calling He has placed on my life. Helped me trust again...I'm still working on it!
- D.H.; reminded me of the implications of each of my choices on the lives of countless others as a Christian, and even moreso as someone in ministry. Humility and accountability are key.
- The Friday night clan; each of you have changed me. Your love for me, for each other, for Jesus...and food! The environment of honesty and sincerity that you all have nurtured carried me through some very discouraging times. You are my safe haven. Thank you for sustaining me through your love, laughter, and friendship.
- Mike; for challenging me to live out my conviction of His love for everyone. You help me to be relevant, and my prayer is that one day my faith will be relevant in your life. He loves you brother, He really does.
- Alaina and Jadyn; everytime I see you two, I am reminded of how easy and natural it should be for me to love others. You both have helped me to laugh and love deeper than I often had before.
- Jacob family; a gift of such generous portion. Your gift, and lifestyle, has shown me the power of the legacy of giving. May He continue to bless you, so that you may in turn continue to bless others.
- Amber; I never would have thought He has this in store for us! The biggest thing you have taught me this year is to act. To be bold enough to act on what I know to be true, or even just be honest enough with my emotions to state them. You call me on it when I am being passive, and you encourage me when I need it most. I love coffee, jewlery, cooking, living at your house, and just about anything else you could dream up...thanks for keeping me young!
- CCF; you make the drive worth every minute! I am always excited about going to church now, and it is because of each one of you. A vacation, really? Whoa.
- A random assorment of men who, each in their own way (some knowingly and some unaware) reminded me that God's best is worth waiting for.
- HZ...second chances. Thanks, and I love you!
- And, lastly...my precious third graders. Your faith and questions point me to Jesus everyday. Your excitement and understanding of His word is contagious. Your love and prayers for me are life-changing. I can hardly wait till heaven...
This list is obviously not complete. But as I thought back through the entire year, there have been some reoccuring themes, that these particular people have shown me.
And then there is you. That is right, you. Writing on this blog, expressing my thoughts through words, has really been a wonderful blessing for me. And each of you who read this, and especially those who comment, have challenged and encouraged me.
Who has impacted your life this year? What did they teach you? How are you different because of them?
5 comments:
Ouch, no paragraph dedicated to Josh! Let me help you out:
To Josh; What can I say? You're the most incredible guy I've ever met! I mean, someone with your class, demeanor and good looks should be considered royalty. Your honesty and sincerity cuts down to the core of my heart. Tami's so lucky to have such an intelligent man who is right 9 times out of 10! I love you Josh, but more importantly....Go Duke, beat Texas!
Awe, thank you so much Ash. YOU are the best!
Josh,
That is so weird that you should write that exact paragraph, because in my original manuscript that paragraph existed...then I wondered if Tami would be offended, if my infatuation with your perfection was revealed to all of the blogging world....so I took it out. Thanks for allowing everything the chance to see just how truly wonderful you are!
And hilarious!
On a serious note; I did learn something big from you this year, and that was the importance of not holding grudges. Coming to Houston, in the manner in which you came (knowing some of Tami's friends were concerned about you), and engaging in her world, with her friends, at her church amazed me. Had it been me, I would have been a bitter and resentful of people who questioned our relationship. (If you were, it never showed.) That really challenged me, and forced me to realize how easily I can fall in to the trap of resentment, bitterness, and holding grudges.
So, thank you Josh. You are a great friend.
God will forgive you for the Duke comment....
Thanks girlie, that means a lot.
Coming into the situation, I felt that I had no right to be angry. You guys were very much justified in questioning Tami and I's relationship. That's what good friends do whenever they see a friend hurt.
I hurt Tami way too much when I was in Dallas. It's something I regret more than anything. I was stupid and scared, but had no right to put her through what I did.
Seeing you guys respond to the situation with support and concern actually made it easier for me to approach you guys. I wanted friends like that. All my friends in Dallas and back home were always too wrapped up in themselves, even when I didn't know what to do about Tami. They were more like, "Oh well, you win some, you lose some," which I believe actually made my decision harder for me.
Thank you guys for loving and caring for Tami during the time when I was doing a poor job doing either. You guys are truly a God-send and I have no doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be and where I belong. You guys reconfirm that everytime I see you. Thanks for everything!
Now, don't go all mushy on me...I might have to make you pizza dip or something!
Thanks...it means a lot to me too...
Read my new blog entry...I'm still fuming!!
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