I remember the last time I was really sick...
I mean the kind of sick where you just cry because you are in such severe pain...(for reasons other than a migraine)
It was in 1999. Freshman year of college. 1200 miles away from home. And I thought my ear was going to explode. And I was pretty sure my insides were going to burst forth in glorious day... and all I wanted was to be home. I remember everything about the one who cared for me, she even washed my sheets for me (that is REAL love).
And then this weekend, I got sick again. REAL sick. High fever, chills, aches, pains, congestion, runny nose, please dear God take me now kind of sick...and I didn't want to be home. I would have rather had Heidi take care of me. But God, in His graciousness, revealed the nurturing side of my mother in ways I haven't seen in years. That was the best part of being sick...I was reminded of what I know she must have been like when I was little.
I am better now (sorry for the absence in blogging, Becca...) but still not quite 100%.
But what I was going to blog about before the violent attack of germs stole three days from me was real life.
Real life.
REAL life.
The kind where married people argue.
The kind where money problems are so scary they keep you up at night.
The kind where you say things you can't take back. Things that cause hurt in others.
I have this theory. We all know that these things happen in real life, yet we keep them hidden from others. But when we do this, life ceases to be real. Our interactions with each other are not completely genuine. We are hiding. Acting. Being who we think others expect us to be.
Why wouldn't a married couple have a "fight" in front of the people who know them best? Maybe their friends could offer insight, or maybe being that real would inspire those they love to do the same.
I was blessed enough to experience real life on Friday. The sad thing is, it made me uncomfortable. But the more I thought about it, the more I longed for situations that envoked that discomfort in me. That discomfort forced me to realize areas in my life where I was not being real. And, I want to be real. I want to live a life that encourages others to be real. That is where we can find freedom in Christ together.
So, you know who you are...thanks for being real. Thanks for making me uncomfortable...
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Real Life...
Posted by Ashlee Liddell at 4:55 PM
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6 comments:
not a problem. That's what I am good at, you know, besides making people laugh uncontrollably to the point of passing large food particles through their nose.
I tend to take that "Don't let the sun go down on your anger..." thing to the extreme. If something needs to be hashed out, then dang it, it's getting hashed out right then and there. This is probably because I was an only child and communication between my parents and I was the hallmark of our relationship. There were very few secrets because there was no place to hide. Amber sometimes doesn't appreciate, but I'm making some inroads there. The good thing is that started one of our 4+ hour conversations that we really haven't had in a while. It got me reading my Bible religiously again (pun intended). I had sorta been selfish lately with others and with God. I had been masking it in a number of ways, but that was the gist of it. I guess that's the beauty of being an only child. You get to be selfish without even realizing it.
Anyway, anytime you want to experience a REAL moment, just give Amber and I a call. :)
Oh man, that hits home for me ... it's easy for me to be real in cyberspace, but in the "real world" it's a different story. At least I hope I can be real with God.
I'm glad your feeling better, and blogging again!! :)
As for the real moments. I hate arguing and I dispise yelling!!! It's something that my mother did when I was younger. She was a screamer, and when she would get on her roll I would head for my room to get away.
Now, as I have "grown up" I shy away from arguments with people, but have been "blessed" by a very dear couple who feel comfortable around me enough to be "real". (sorry for all the quotations today :) )
When it first started happening I would literally hide under a pillow or leave the room, and then one day my friend came to me and said that she knows that I'm uncomtfortable when they have their disagreements, but to look at them as a learning experience.
They would argue and disagree, but by the end of the time the argument was resolved, and that's what she wanted me to take from it.
It's hard, but I'm learning. And actually, I'm having to take all that I've gleaned and use it at work to stand up to one of my bosses who is being very jerky!!
Well, now that I've posted on your comments section I don't need to write mine today, he he he!!
Glad your feeling better.
Joe,
Thanks for being my friend. (please hold off on the cheesy jokes for just a minute and listen to the rest of this...) It is one of the coolest things about having so many married friends. You get a bonus friend!
There have been several times in the past month or so where your perspective/insight on an issue has really challenged me. The late night chat about why people don't share their secrets..."the" fight night, this comment on the blog... You remind me that at the end of the day, I can analyze something a zillion different ways and ultimately it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter unless I do something about it. You always seem to "do" something, and that is really challenging to me.
And yes, making people laugh uncontrollably to the point of passing large particles of food through their nose....for these things I am grateful!
Ashlee, I apologize in advance...
Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant.
And if you through a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.
Ah, the Golden Girls, good times...
Sorry, sometimes I hear or see things that remind me of songs and cheesy 80s TV show lyrics are the best. For a fun time, check this out. Great stuff kids.
i'm glad you're feeling better. i was the sickest i can ever remember being in october during an orchestra festival, and i wanted so badly for it just to get over. being really sick is not fun.
about the real life thing. i agree with you totally. but we have been so marvelously conditioned to be shams that whenever anyone lives honestly it makes us uncomfortable. it's interesting, thinking that the only really acceptable way to live in our society is to hide the things that connect us the most. no wonder people feel isolated and alone.
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