To Jeff.
Yup, it was official for all of two hours.
I was married to Jeff, who took my last name because I am all modern and stuff....
Our church is looking into purchasing some membership software and I am involved in the decision making process. So, today, I had a two hour demo with one company via phone while we were online (is there a word for that?), and he used me as an example.
Then he asked me my husband's name.
(Side note: Please, please, please, for all the single women and men out there, do not assume EVERYONE in the whole entire world is married if you are. Is it so hard to ask, are you married? instead of what is your husband's name?)
So, he entered in Jeff Liddell for my husband's name. All by himself he created a husband for me.
Then, he asked if I was dating a guy named Jeff. (Yes, this guy was for real.....)
While I was adjusting to married life, and still trying to be objective about the software I was supposed to be examining, something really jumped out at me.
Why is it that one generation seems all those after them should do things the way they did?
Even after they have been given time to see what their choices gave them, and how different choice could actually result in the outcome they were intending, it seems that certain generations cling tightly to the "rightness" of their choices, their way of doing things, etc.
A know that is an all encompassing generalization, but it just struck me how his voice changed when I told him I was not married and my age.
Perhaps a bit of sorrow, mixed with pity and a touch of judgment.
I know that sounds harsh, but it is totally how I perceived our exchange.
(He also kept referring to people in my generation as "jet setters" and "techies" which also felt a bit like a jab at times.)
So, I don't know anyone named Jeff.
But, if you do, and he is willing to change his last name....I think there are wedding bells ringing in the distance!!!!
Am I all alone with this observation, or has anyone else noticed it???
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Today, I got married.
Posted by Ashlee Liddell at 5:30 PM
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5 comments:
as a guy, it sounds entirely possible to me that he was hitting on you . . . assuming he wasn't married. :)
an interesting take... he did say he had been married for 30 some odd years, but you never know ;)
do you want me to take him out? cuz i will. i have connections. ha.
seriously, though, being on the "single" side for 34 years...i do understand what you are saying. there does seem to be a "pity" response sometimes when you say you're not married. and that is very frustrating. it seemed to me (and this just me) that when i was single and someone asked if i was married (to which i replied "no")...that then it was almost assumed on the other parties fault that there was something wrong with me...which was a bit insulting.
i'm certainly not saying that was the case with everyone and maybe i was just ultra sensitive to the fact that i was still single.
having been married now for 1.8 years (insert huge smile here), i will say that, it seems to bring about a different type of response now...almost like a "you're part of the club now" response.
does any of that make sense???
i guess what i'm really trying to say here is that people sometimes are just morons and they say the wrong things. just because i am married now does not make me a "better" person than when i was single or any other single person. it was up to GOD as to how long i remained single. not ME.
being single is a blessing. being married is a blessing.
i feel as though i'm rambling massively here. i have many more thoughts on this subject, however, i don't know how to get them out.
let's discuss when i see you in like 31 days.......:)
Oh Terri...I am so glad I am not alone on this one.
Let's discuss IN PERSON IN less than 31 days!!!!! Can't even wait!
well then, he was definitely hitting on you.
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