When did honesty go out of style?
When did it become okay for us to decide that someone can't handle the truth, or it would be better if they didn't know what was really going on?
When did honesty mean only the words you spoke, and stopped encompassing the way you lived your life (spoken and unspoken, actions matching your words, etc.)?
I am just curious if anyone else has noticed this trend? I don't know when it started, or how it got so out of control, but I know it has happened in my lifetime.
One thing I am starting to realize is that dishonesty is perhaps most often, if not always, rooted in selfishness.
So, who challenges you to be more honest in your life, relationships, or with yourself? (other than this highly thought provoking blog post of course!)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
You can't handle the truth...
Posted by Ashlee Liddell at 8:25 PM
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7 comments:
Hmm...I agree that many people do not display or value honesty in the world. But I don't think it happened within my life time. My view of the standards of honesty is that deception (in all variations and sizes) is consistent in behavior throughout history. Hmm, I wonder if the difference in our viewpoints is a pessimist/optimist thing, a 'human nature' Locke vs. Hobbs thing, etc?
I wish people were more honest! It's my 2nd highest value, the first being communication.
Oh Lisa....I guess I was more meaning that the acceptance, or embracing, of dishonesty seems to have happened in my lifetime. Parents are actually teaching, or condoning, behavior that encourages children to be dishonest, or withhold the truth.
That was the case, or didn't seem like it, when I was growing up.
Or maybe it is something very philosophical, but you wont be able to engage me in that conversation!!!
Oh I gotcha. Sorry, no experience there! (with kids and parenting now-a-days) :) Fortunately the few parents I do have around me (Bible study and my neighbors) are really good examples of parents who do teach honesty and responsibility, but I do hear and get the impression (like your post) that this is not the norm anymore.
It is all about preserving self. Most lies come about to 'make it easier' on yourself but in the end..you are still just a liar.
It is a difficult lesson for kids b/c if they are honest about doing something wrong they still get disciplined just not as harshly as if they lied. But for them it is still they are in trouble regardless so they might as well stretch the truth so they MAY not get in trouble at all. ADULTs.. total selfishness...and maybe some fear.
My issue comes with right and wrong issues. There is none anymore. It's all what's right for you is okay. If you want to sleep with your boyfriend, or lie on your resume, or live like crap that's okay because it works for you and that's all that matters.
I can't stand that!!!! Sorry- my little rant for the day.
Dishonesty, a.k.a NOT THE TRUTH, creeps into life in little ways that are not really noticable and often very accepted/not challenged by others. But at some point the little lies give way to the big ones. Where is that line?
It is interesting how many people will fudge a little in their replies about things or suggest doing a little something (playing games with friends).
Try this - next time someone makes on a comment or remark and it suggests being dishonest, let's just say {OUT LOUD}, "THAT'S NOT HONEST" and see how much more they want to talk about it.
Think about this - how many times do we quickly reply "okay, fine" when someone asks us "how are you?". Hmmm.....dishonesty at its finest!
Or Susan, we could just shout out "LIAR!" while making a "L" much like the loser sign on our forehead....
that might be more fun!
:)
You are right, we accept all kinds of "little" dishonesties, which should not surprise us when have a culture that welcome and encourages lying.....
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